Murphy's Law

FYI: If you are squeamish or a pansy in any way, don't read this post. The words "throw up" are used on several occassions. Just warning you!


Murphy's Law and moms don't always get along. Case in point: I don't particularly care for Murphy's Law when it comes to children and throwing up.

Friday I made breakfast for dinner and, being the awesomest mom ever, made orange blueberry smoothies for my kids. Rix drank that up and ate some extra blueberries as well (he has a sort of super-love for blueberries).

Then, at 3 am Saturday morning, I hear "Mom, I threw up on my floor." Nothing wakens a mom like the words "throw up". I was instantly wide awake.
        Law: If your kids are going to throw up, it's going to be at night when you really just want to be sleeping. How come they never throw up during the day? When I can be prepared? And awake?

I threw on my robe and went into his room, but despite the smell, I couldn't see any throw up on his floor and gave up trying to find it.

Rix decided to sleep on the couch, when, about 15 minutes later, I heard him throw up again. Here is where that darn Murphy and his stupid law come in:
        Law: If your kids are going to throw up, it will be after you have given them something to eat that STAINS!!

Blueberries, um, stain. A lot. And to further prove my point, last time Bryce threw up I have given him fresh strawberries as a snack. Hmmm...anyway, even though he basically made it in the bowl, he also "made it" onto the couch and our light colored carpet. Thank heavens for carpet shampooers!! While I cleaned up that (while dry heaving myself - I don't do will with throw up) Rix thought he should brush his teeth. And he insisted on flossing too. All this while I'm scrubbing my carpet in my robe at 4 am wishing I was back in bed and that Bryan was the one scrubbing. But the mental image of Bryan scrubbing did bring a smile to my face at 4 in the morning.

After that Rix felt he could sleep in his bed. As he was climbing the ladder to his bunk he said these awesome words: "Bryce has throw up on his jammies." My first thought was that Bryce was sick too. But no. It was worse. Way worse. And grosser (totally a word by the way). Rix had thrown up on Bryce. Eww, I know. Remember how I couldn't find his inital throw up on the floor? That's because he didn't get it on the floor. He got it on Bryce and on Bryce's blankets. And Bryce slept through all of it.
        Law: Your children will throw up on the sheets and blankets you literally just washed. And put back on bunk beds. Don't let anybody tell you that putting sheets on a bunk bed is easy. They are lying. I had washed and remade the beds literally seven hours previous to Rix's episode. Ugh! 

I woke up Bryce, changed his jammies, took off his sheets and blankets, vacuumed the floor (I'd explain the vacuuming but it's too much info, even for a post about throw up), started a load with hot water, presoak, and stain cycle (I wanted those blankets clean!) and went back to bed. This whole fiasco lasted almost three hours.
        Law: If your children have thrown up, even if they say they are done and you go back to bed, you will still lay awake because you are anticipating them coming back into your room telling you they have thrown up so you can start the whole clean up process again.